SHARING MY EXPERIENCE ON MOTHERHOOD

Hi guys! Today's post is a little different from my regular fashion posts. Today I want to share with
you my experience on being a new mom. Motherhood has been pretty amazing! I know it's only been
almost 2 months but I can already say that there probably isn't any journey in life like it. I have been
thinking a lot about this post, trying to write and re-write it. A lot of things happen and change so fast
I try to keep up, physically, mentally and emotionally. While we hear all about the amazing things and the joy that motherhood brings, there are also a lot of hardship, work and sacrifice that comes with it. And for me the biggest thing so far is CHANGE. I'm not talking some small changes but MAJOR life change.

I am the youngest out of 2 sisters (so there is my sister and me) and never really had to babysit anyone. Believe it or not, Carter is the first diaper change I've ever had to do- ever!!! Both our families me and Mark,  live far from us so there is very limited help.
Me and Mark waited a while to have a baby. We have been together for a long time but we wanted to be stable first before thinking about having kids. We also wanted to enjoy each other and travel. Needless to say we've had our fun times, we  had a nice, sweet routine where we do what we want and go wherever we want,  whenever we want for a long, long time.
I have also never been the one that always wanted kids. When I was younger I was so afraid of "labor" that I told myself I will never have kids. Ha! Silly me!

Well that's all certainly changed now. During the 1st & 2nd week was pretty crazy! I felt extreme joy, still in shock and just couldn't believe the baby has arrived and that there are the 3 of us now, was also still extremely in pain so it was getting frustrating. I only took pain meds at the hospital and not when I got home. I delivered vaginally with episiotomy - hello??! Nobody ever talks about this but it is definitely painful and longer healing time. Not so sure which one is worse, episiotomy or C section when it comes to pain and healing time. I was pretty much in bed (sorta)  until like the end of my third week. But around the 2nd week my mom, sister and niece arrived and thank goodness for them we were able to get a little bit of sleep and some help on house chores. I was pumping every 3 hours round the clock and the baby was feeding every 3 hours. That alone took a lot of time. On the 2nd week, his Uncle Derek also arrived from LA to meet him so we had a fun full house! That week the baby also took his first couple of outings. Dad and Carter took his fist trip to Target and Ikea. Yep! Haha, he's made it all the way to Ikea.

3rd and 4th week: It starts to sink in a little bit more. I was still in pain but we still had help and company so it was a little easier. Carter was just pretty much sleeping and eating and already had his daddy completely wrapped around his finger! :) Around this time Mark's mom arrived from Canada. Again we had some help which was nice.

Life just got real ...

Finally time came and Mark had to go back to work and all company gone. It was just me and Carter and right on the first day, everything really sank in. Life has changed and how Carter and his needs have become the most important on my list. I had this adorable little human and how hard it is to be a mom with no help! Sleepless nights and days, endless laundry, endless bottles to wash, all the rooms in the house becomes a big mess and everything baby stuff starts to take over, finding the time to eat and shower,  to name just a few of these changes. Being a type A personality, it's somewhat hard to ignore all the mess.... and just realizing I won't be having the time I used to have and be able to do the things that I do or the things that I love to do was tough.... at that time I was officially overwhelmed. And since I was overwhelmed it felt like that situation was permanent.
But you just do what you have to do and keep up... because you have this little adorable human and his life completely depended on you.

Things are looking up! ...

But as everyone says, "it does get better". I hang on to those very words, hearing them from my friends... Well, it sure does! You slowly figure it out and then it becomes easier. My life now with Carter is better, fuller and more meaningful. Looking, touching and hugging Carter, and hearing the little noises he makes completely melts my heart. It's priceless. Watching him change and grow is so amazing. Now I understand more how labor pains and all the other little difficult things,  are just really little in exchange for having this little angel in my life. I fall in love with him more and more everyday. And now that he is interacting more we play, talk and smile and laugh all day, it's SO much fun and this is just the beginning. 

You do figure things out as you go and this applies to everything. You eventually try to get back and find your balance again and be able to do the things you enjoy again. The "overwhelming stage" is not permanent, it is temporary. 

Now me and Carter have somewhat figured out a schedule. We also try to go out everyday because it's healthy for both of us and it's fun for both of us. I think he must have gotten that trait from his mommy. Always wanting to be out exploring.

Robe Nordstrom /  Headboard (several online furniture stores have it but Amazon is the cheapest that I saw) Amazon

Some tips and tricks I've learned ... 

(especially for moms like me who wasn't really exposed to a lot of kiddos or baby sitting experiences) 

1. READ a lot!!! While pregnant try to read a lot of pregnancy books and baby books as you can. Nothing can ever prepare you enough for motherhood but aside from our own motherly instincts that kick in , it is also good to have ideas and some knowledge so you'll know what to do on some of the basic stuff but also having information helps you make informed decisions. 

2. BE FLEXIBLE. A LOT of things will be changing and will continue to change. Expect it and accept it. 

3.  QUICK 5 SECOND DECISIONS AND MOVE FASTER. If you thought you were busy before having a baby, well braise yourself!! Because now or when the baby comes, then you'll  run out of time to do anything else. 

So now I definitely move faster on everything. I figured now with a newborn, I can only do things while he is napping and I can now leave him for a little bit to play by himself. I take advantage of that time to clean up and do my top priorities on my to do list for the day.

You can also try those rocking chairs or baby chairs and find one that he likes to be in. We've so far tried 3 different kinds and he loves one of them that is lightweight and rocks. So now that he is a little bit more interactive, he seems to like being where the action is. So I put him in that chair and move that chair where I am if I really have to do stuff. And that gives me more time too. 

I've also realized how much time I spent (more like wasted) pondering little life decisions before. Now you need to make those little decisions fast and learn to trust yourself and instincts. Make the 5 second decision rule. 

4. PREPARING MEALS AHEAD OF TIME.  I have found this very helpful.When you can, try to prepare your meals ahead of time. This will help you eat more healthy and be able to eat when you can while baby is napping. 

5. PRACTICE MINDFULNESS. I think this is very important when the baby cries to avoid getting overwhelmed. Try to stay in the moment and stay calm. See what signs your baby is doing to find out what's wrong. I think that babies usually cry for a reason. It certainly is a trial and error. But usually they are hungry, cold or hot, needs a diaper change, maybe having a hard time passing gas, over stimulated or under stimulated. They say babies cry at least for 2 hours in a day for no reason. So if your baby is crying for more than that in a day then there's gotta be a reason, I think.

6. HARD TIME PASSING GAS is apparently very common with new borns! I wish we knew this earlier! When they are crying and seemed to be cringing, in pain, lifting their legs when they cry, your baby might be having a hard time passing gas. You can get him gripe water or gas drops. Gas drops worked great for us and it is safe to use. 

Carter eats a lot and is being breastfed. Their digestive system is still underdeveloped so this might be  the major cause. Formula fed babies seem to have less gas issues than breast fed babies because formula ingredients are always the same.

7. THANK GOODNESS FOR GOOGLE. Research! Research! Research! When you have an issue or a major question, google these issues or questions. There are a TON of helpful articles and mommy forums online. But try to read several and not just one article or forum before making  decisions. 

8. BE GENTLE WITH YOURSELF. You are allowed to make mistakes and you will. You won't know everything because you are learning and your new born is also learning with you. You are allowed to rest because you will be exhausted. And you are allowed to have some "me" time because  it's also important to nourish yourself and take care of yourself. Happy mom = happy baby and happy hubby! 

9. GO OUT EVERYDAY. This is healthy for you and the baby. Even for just a walk outside. This also keeps new moms from feeling isolated. Meet up with some friends every week or join some mom groups. It's always nice to have some support. 

10. LET YOURSELF HEAL. If  you end up having a somewhat difficult labor, don't rush if you can  and let yourself heal. Try to set up and have some support to help you out during the first few weeks during postpartum. The more rest you can get the faster you can heal and the quicker you can play and spend time with your baby. 

11. BREASTFEEDING MOMMAS, invest in correct size bras and tank tops and a comfy robe. You will be living in them. I especially loved these tanks.  I didn't breastfeed,  but I pumped and bottle fed. But I lived in these tanks, they are cheap, soft, not too tight and you can dry them in the machine without shrinking. Wrong size bras or tight tanks can cause plugged ducts and they are VERY painful  so you'd want to avoid them as much as possible.

12. TALK, PLAY, HOLD & NOURISH your baby. They need you. I think that every little thing you do with them at this early stage all counts.

Well so far these are what I've learned and just wanted to share them with new mommas or future moms. If you know other tips or tricks, please do share!! I would love to learn more and they all can come in handy ;) 

Hugs and kisses from me and Carter! 

Xoxo